|| The stars shone for me ||
3:30 AM
Friday, February 01, 2008
Late At Night
Another day has passed... Another day of OT. For the past one month, OT is a norm rather than the exception. Just this week alone, with the exception of Monday, whereby I leave work at normal hours so as to celebrate YN's birthday, my timesheet reads: Tues-9pm, Wed-11pm, Thurs-12.35am... Tomorrow? I don't even dare think...
To be honest, I don't exactly felt stressed at work. In fact I'm always the cool and calm one in the office (plus my boss, who is extremely cool and calm!!). The low spirit crept in went I knocked off from work. The feeling is really depressing when at the end of the day, this go through your mind: "Yes!! Finally off from work! So, what now? .......... Go home and sleep, wake up tomorrow and repeat the whole rotinue again, what else?!?!" 10plus hours cooped inside the office (I've to lunch in everyday) can really drive one mad. I count myself fortune to remain sane. Exams is at CNY Eve, and I don't even have the time to start revising for it... It will take a mircale to pass this exam... Now that is stress!
|| The stars shone for me ||
1:19 AM
Friday, January 11, 2008
Back-Stabbing
The back-stabbing has occured. Much sooner than I expected. Stabbing me while I'm away. Smart, but bet she doesn't knew I got my own spies around. Revenge or to turn away, either choice seems favourable to me. Although personally, revenge will be more satisfying... Nasty Nick is back...
|| The stars shone for me ||
12:49 AM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
CPA Australia
Went to the CPA Australia info session at Starhub Centre. (Thanks dear, for accompanying me there despite your cough... 感动）Obviously not qualified to be a associate member of CPA (Aus) yet, but it will be something I'm striving forward to. A new year resolution sort of way. It will be another step towards my dream career. However, achieving my graduation by end of 2008 will be my most important and immediate goal. Hopefully everything will go according to plan....
I guess its hard to convince people that accounting is interesting, unless they REALLY are interested. I gave up trying to convince YN that accounting can be an alternate path for her if engineering doesn't work out for her. I can only hope she is supportive of the career path I'm undertaking. It won't be easy on her, with my late nights at work. Balancing work and relationship will be my biggest challenge when I become a full-fledged accountant. I've seen enough break-ups caused by work commitment. As much as I love accounting, I will be wretched if it means sacrificing our relationship for that. Its a dilemma I pray that I never have to face...
|| The stars shone for me ||
11:53 PM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
The bitching won't stop!!
It finally came to a point where I almost feel like punching someone face. Well, faces to be exact. I cannot describe how the pettiness of my two colleagues and their not-so-discreet sarcasm with each other is driving me nuts! As if the unwanted noise level created by them isn't bad enough, they had to drag ME in! Asking yes or no questions that you knew either answer will get you in trouble with either party. So what do you do??? Laugh it off, of course. Except for the fact the I'm in no entertaining mood, with deadlines killing you ever so softly....
So I just simply kept my mouth shut. The bitching was so terrible to bear that I had to:
1) Escape to the toilet and chant for 2mins to calm myself from doing anything murderous.
2) Grab any opportunities to be away from my desk, for as long as my desk duties allows me.
3) Start playing happy songs in my brain in an attempt to block out the bitching.
4) Leave the office on the dot (For the first time in weeks) even though my job is not exactly finished.
I like to believe that I'm mostly patient and cool. To drive me this nuts takes some doing and oh my, can these two f**king id*ot do it well. (I'll most probably gonna get bad karma for this, but what the heck!!).
The new finance manager came in today. (Not surprisingly, its part of the bitching topic). The common observations from most is that she seems to be a tough, non-nonsense lady and aren't gonna be easy to work with. Personally, I like to give her the benefit of the doubt and will only judge after the settling down period is over. Even if the observations are accurate, I think I will manage. As long as she is reasonable, I'm alright with tough lady-boss. Besides, age is on my side. Not happy, leave lah! This company was, anyway, meant to be just a stepping stone in my career right from the start. Once I finished learning what I need to learn, and the opportunities to progress does not present itself, I'll be off. I do not exactly need to 忍气吞声 in order to just stay in the job, do I? Mwhahaha!!
|| The stars shone for me ||
10:35 PM
Sunday, December 30, 2007
分手快乐
铃； 铃铃铃铃铃铃铃铃铃！
冲；Initial D 的冲。
找；东找，西找。
哭；轻声的哭。
喝；干杯！为了快乐而喝。
说；不吐不快！说个明白。
骂；大骂特骂。
喝；再喝。
说；把委屈都说出来。
哭；尽情的哭！毫无保留，无需故做坚强。
回；回家，回去现实。
伤；疗伤的过程才刚刚开始。。。
|| The stars shone for me ||
9:50 AM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Holiday!! Yeah!!
Salamat Hari Raya Haji! Finally, a break to catch my breath. With all due respect to our Muslim friends, I really don't give a damn if its Haji or any other festivals. I'm just glad that its a public holiday! Although I won't be exactly taking a break, since I need to help out in the painting of my home, it is a pleasant distraction away from work. With the no-leave-application policy being imposed on us by the company, a break during the weekday is so gratefully appreciated. No trainings, no OT, no never-ending in-tray to clear, no need to listen to squabble and sarcastic exchange between colleagues, no EMAILS TO REPLY (YES!!!!!!!!!!), no data to key, no payments to process, no filing to make, no calls to engage, no meeting of vendors who are chasing you for outstanding payment from 2005... no everything!!
These few weeks is like a dream-turn-nightmare drama for me. From the highs of the promotion news, to the shock realisation of the amount of work and new responsibilities that awaits me in 2008 after each training, its like seeing a demon slowing taking shape right in front of you and there's nothing you can do to stop it. To make matters worse, you realised that you're the appointed baby-sitter of this horrible demon-child! To be honest, this is what I've being hoping for ever since I step into the company- an opportunity to prove myself that I'm able to deal with big responsibility. Although not regretting that I got what I wish for, I would I have prefer that some time was offered to me so that I can be mentally prepared for it. But judging from the way things are rushed, I guess its a luxury the company cannot afford to me...
Oh ya, just one more trivial matter to announce... I just gotten a letter from the army to inform me that they decided to downgraded my PES status to C2L2. Good news really. It means I'm spared from the time-wasting IPPT test and the 3 months RT that comes right after. Have to say I'm pleasantly surprise. I did not know how a 3 months MC and no further actions from me became a downgrade of status. Who cares anyway? Haha!
P.S: If there are times that I did not reply from your missed call / sms or you know of anyone who gotten pissed off that I did not reply, I like to apologise for that (although not very sincerely... =P). I will get back to you soon (a lie), or maybe when we meet up (truth).
|| The stars shone for me ||
8:53 AM
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Suffocating
The weight of expectation is heavy.
The responsibility is overloading.
The tiredness is overwhelming.
The whole experience is hallowing.
Suffocating...
Suffocating from the expectations people have on me.
Suffocating from the responsibilities that are thrust upon me.
Suffocating... and the tiredness isn't helping.
Suffocating... but the experience may still prove to be priceless in the future... I hope...
A lonely fight...
Even though I'm not alone.
A uphill struggle...
Although no hill is insurmountable.
Where are the encouragements when I needed them?
In books they say, but I've no time to read them.
Ha, such a hypocrite I am.
No time to read, yet here I am blogging away,
Complaining...
Tomorrow is another fight.
Another fight to equip myself for the future battles.
Another fight to quell the politics.
Another fight to stay sane.
Another fight to to remain calm,
Even though deep inside I'm screaming...
Screaming for help.
Screaming for strength.
Screaming for wisdom.
Screaming for a break.
Who will read this blog?
Who will still care?
I no longer hope,
not because I've lost hope,
But because I knew that is an unreasonable demand.
All are busy and all have their fair share of untold stress.
There are more important things to do,
More important people to save,
More important task to complete.
There is always something more important than oneself...
Learn to live with it.
Cos' I have.
|| The stars shone for me ||
8:40 PM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Promotion
Despite staying with the company for almost one and a half years, rejected various opportunities for seemingly greener pastures, hoping that my abilities will be recognised and be rewarded with a permanent position, the news of my impending promotion came rather unexpectedly.
Firstly, I've pretty much given up hope of being offered a permanent position. In fact, I was already contemplating about leaving the company once my contract ends in January. I was getting a frustrated with my, sometimes, monotonous job. With each passing day, as I get more and more familiarise with my work, there were many a times where I was particularly doing nothing the whole day as I've finished everything that needs to be done, way ahead of schedule.
Secondly, the previous round of contract negotiation between the company, my agency and myself leave a pretty bad taste in the mouth. Although in the end all parties compromise to salvage the situation, it seems that any future negotiation will be pretty thorny. Based on my judgement then, the next round of negotiation will most probably be me taking a pay cut or having my agency to compromise their earnings again; neither is likely to be acceptable for both parties. Hence, I wasn't too optimistic about the possible extension of my stay in the company, let alone a permanent position.
Lastly, right from the beginning, I was only hoping to gain a permanent position within the company. Promotion has never crossed my mind. At least I don't think the company would make such a decision, given the fact that I'm the least experienced worker in the entire department. Besides, it only seems natural that any job openings will be filled by internal promotion of the current permanent staff or recruiting from the market. It has never occurred to me that the company will give the opportunity to a contract staff like myself...
The news was communicated to me when I decided to knock on my boss' door and talked to him. My actions was motivated by rumors that there might be changes to our job scope next year due to the merger between our four inter-company entities and the overhaul of the whole operating and accounting system. My intention was purely to find out what are the plans the company have for me and the tasks that I will be assigned to. This is to prepare myself for the data migration and also to plan my timetable. This is important to me personally, as I really dislike heading into a major project not knowing what is gonna happen and what am I suppose to do. Of course the rumors and the fact that some of my colleagues were already informed about their new responsibilities also makes me feel rather lost and uncomfortable. That's when I got to know about my impending conversion to permanent staff cum promotion and also my new responsibilities. According to my boss, my promotion was through recommendation, rather ironically, from the consultants who came over to Singapore during the past few weeks to provide us with trainings for the new accounting system. Apparently, the consultants was rather impressed with my ability to grasp the new system and felt that I was able to handle it better than my more experienced colleagues. Can you believe it?? I fruitlessly slogged for more than a year and now suddenly I'm getting what I wanted and more just by a simple recommendation from consultants who only knew me for less than a month!
However, I have yet to come to a conclusive decision whether to accept it or not. Of course I will welcome the expected pay increment and employee benefits (FINALLY!!!). The opportunity to expose myself to new challenges is also something that I'm very much looking forward to. But, there is still a small matter of overcoming certain HR issues. The changes in job scope not only affects me. My colleague, the one who taught me almost everything in my job, will suddenly become my assistant... (She is yet to know about the arrangement) Of course I'm not going to go all bossy and arrogant towards her (that will be suicidal in all circumstances), but there is always the fear that she may feel unfairly treated and cause our relationship to sour. It is a situation I would rather avoid.
So far, the people that I sought advise from all encourage me to take up the offer and after a few days of consideration, my decision does leans towards that direction. I still have my uneasiness with regards to the relationsip with my colleague, but I guess if I couldn't handle it, then I don't deserve the promotion anyway. Tactful and lotsa of daimoku is the way forward...
|| The stars shone for me ||
7:20 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
My life is filled with people who have helped me along the way...
I have friends who will listen to my thoughts...
I have a family who supports me wholeheartedly...
I have a girlfriend, whom, despite the occassional squabble, I loved to bits...
I have comrades who share the same burden and goals with me...
I have nasty bosses who makes me reflect on myself, what are the things that I can improve on...
I have humorous colleagues who brightens up the day...
I have members who brights joy to my day with a simple sms of care and concern...
I have a troublesome brother, who makes me realise the important role I've to play in the family...
I have wonderful business associates who are always willing to share a joke with me...
I have demanding clients, who will let me realise that there is always room for improvement...
I have leaders who are always concern my well-being...
I have so many many wonderful budhhas appearing in my life...
And I like to say - Thank you!
Thank you all for making me who I am today, and definitely who I will be in the future.
The Mystic Law brought us together and I'm forever grateful...
And I like to repay my gratitute to all of you...
I like to me there when you need someone to help you,
Or just be there for you.
I will not shy away from your call.
I will not turn my back on you.
Cos that will be rejecting your existence,
and utimately, rejecting my own existence...
|| The stars shone for me ||
4:23 AM
